If I had posted this picture a year ago, it would have shown an exhausted breastfeeding mom trying to adapt to a new job while working from home at the beginning of a pandemic. Fast forward to now, and I am still exhausted working from home in the middle of a pandemic, minus the breastfeeding. I snapped this picture right before a 9am Zoom call so I could forever remember how crazy it is to truly be a parent.
Ana was with me at home all week due to a fever and respiratory virus that just would not let up. She’s finally on the mend, and while I’m fairly certain she can return to school on Monday, we are giving her this weekend to get additional rest. Work has been nuts (in a good way). Ana came with me to deliver Passover meals last Friday, and while that is certainly not the norm, having her as my copilot to bring smiles to isolated seniors brought so much joy.
This picture represents reality. It shows a toddler wanting to be held, which is how she currently wants to spend the majority of her time. It shows a mother in pajamas with a cardigan over a t-shirt just to show that effort was made. Hair was in a ponytail and my filter-screen glasses covered any dark circles I may had. Slippers were in full effect because I’m not about to put effort into footwear that no client will see. My mirror? Well, that’s a whole another story. I don’t know when it was last cleaned and I just hope that any spots on my clothing are actually on the mirror and not me. The bedroom is a mess. It’s vacuumed and the bed is always made, but it’s otherwise filled with toddler toys, dog toys, and random pieces of clothing that I wish would just disappear but not yet haven’t.
Despite the exhaustion, the dirty mirror, the cluttered floor, and the hip pain from holding 19# on and off all day (will take all carrier recommendations!), motherhood is beautiful. It’s crazy, yes, but beautiful. I will forever be proud to show my daughter how beauty can still be found in the midst of chaos. Parenthood is the hardest job in the world -primarily because you’re expected to have 100 different jobs and know how to do all of them while keeping a human alive- but it is so so worth it.