Control: Who Has It?

It’s the middle of the week, and I am at home hacking my lungs out with a box of tissues on my right and a dog on my left. Oh, and obviously a computer at my front 😉 My arthritic foot has been acting up from the irregular weather patterns and nothing, not even the $40 cream prescribed by the doctor, is working to alleviate the pain. My husband is leaving in two weeks for a month long rotation in Virginia, so I’m trying to mentally prepare myself to hold down the fort alone until the beginning of April. Now that’s what is just going in my immediate household. At work, clients come to me looking for answers. “What can I do with my life?” “I need some direction.” “Can you pay for this or that or the other thing?” In the world around me, I’m nervous for our education system and what may become of it; I’m scared for our Earth if things don’t change; I’m worried about the lives affected as we go backwards towards segregation; and lastly, I fear for the well-being of animals since reporting of cruelty and neglect can no longer be seen on reputable sites like the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). All these things are in my mind at all times, and it wears me down. But guess what?


I do not have all the answers to life’s questions. I do not know why I had to end up with arthritic foot at 26 (maybe God’s telling me to slow down….) or get sick in the middle of important stuff at work. By the time my (future) children will be going to school, our education system could be better than it ever has been; a (future) mother can dream, right? I can be a part of the movement toward change and show integration to those around me. I can continue to recycle and minimize my waste output as steps towards a cleaner Earth. I can also continue to advocate for animal rights and be a voice for those who don’t have one. Giving up control is hard. As a woman with a Type A personality who would much rather lead than follow, I’m all about control. However, I worry myself sick when I don’t have any, and I shouldn’t. Deep down, I know who truly is in control and thankfully, it’s not me.


So often, we forget to count our blessings when things are rough and we felt we have lost control of our lives. That is totally normal, and the One who is in control knows it. He knows our desire to be in charge. After all, we know what’s best for ourselves, right? Ehh, not always. More often then not, things happen to make us slow down so we realize how little we are compared to how big He is. That alone is a blessing when you truly think about it. Did we create our immune systems to fight off the infections we occasionally may get? Did we design our bodies to have arms to hold things and legs to get where we need to go? Did we give ourselves a voice to speak up and be heard? We have so much to be thankful for, and I’m going to try and remember that as I go through my day eating soup, drinking tea, snuggling my pups, and binge watching YouTube videos. I encourage you to do the same, no matter what is going on in your life right now 🙂


From the book, “Contagious Joy” by the Women of Faith series


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